Misfit

The man wants you easy,

knocking on the wall
for permission

but lightly, not in need
with that spark –

an anger of too fast words
better held without panic

of long eyes and
their fragile warning,

just like the moon, head
held bowed to the sun

is the owed, owned light
from a distance

hunted on every horizon;
those, back turned and running

are a reflection of another
until quiet,

looking upon the face
of one who demanded
what they will not:

a monster, a victim –

and upon the wall slam
the crumbling heart

knocking loudly on the long night
with dreams made vivid

too struck of love,
indelible by necessity:

the own, owned warmth of self

who once gathering flowers
within a cage grew rich
with seeds

now slipping, or falling,
between every crack

having found no door
to ask entrance

grown uncontainable.

Adaptation

Once living in blue,
how deep the hand in my head
loved by a hungry sky

would become sharp of edges,

ripped my born wings that
a songbird bound; crawled

crushed flowers placed
in pockets I thought

could weave a crown.

It was that I knew first
having arms of cirrus:

insubstantial and searching
like water feels every

form of inauthenticity
and fills it;

I would bleed when needed
and not wanting to die

have untied each
found fiction to see
its kinked rope.

When once there was
first, forced inattention

like my mother unable to
hug when unwatched

could it be enough
that never like her father
left her broken,

she only left –

and a love that made me
has tried to take me
and save me same

stumbling into what is
familiar, many times

until older, I have felt
long beneath a snow

like a seed dreams of
a tree they will know.





strong sun

The sky was heavy the day
I decided I liked orange
and pink together, torn

down the gray, octopus curtain
and placed a flower-bombed
flag in its place

sprinkled bits of periwinkle
to calm the delight,

a shocked, blank edge
calling where the cacophony
of color concluded

and I would sink into the heat
of a long bath, another too
cold day - the sun has slept

for weeks in Seattle,

to float between the shattering
like when I was very small
like a torn hibiscus bleeds –

laying face-up in a kiddie pool
legs a tad too long and splayed
in the time-eating heat

I tried to rub the sun from my eyes

but it just sunk in more
until I could see it behind
closed lids

like a dream in focus:
my body a boat gone
adrift

and sought this halting heat
that pauses every thing,

this version of me –
just a little more time.