Surfside

A stone in the sand
dents me

at the edge of frailty –

I am of parts, jagged as
the coastline where
the tide pushed,

having gone far now
from the beginning

like my mother went
back, where waters were
warm, where the ocean

kept a song of us she
never stopped loving,

and she tried more than
many will need

having, on cruelty,
a softness she built up

and beneath it a knife
always ready;

sensing it there
held even in sleep,

the forced inattention to
giggle when she would laugh to

stay silent unless agreeing –
and I existed in fable

taking on too much water
and snapped as the rebar
too solid and needy broke,

and dropped in pieces
like every stone

left in places I felt free –

every bit of that old heart
except what gave purpose

left behind, grabbing
at leaves and sky, ravenous

feeling their immortality, their
constant warmth like
a mother’s love,

gone before it was gone.

Adaptation

Once living in blue,
how deep the hand in my head
loved by a hungry sky

would become sharp of edges,

ripped my born wings that
a songbird bound; crawled

crushed flowers placed
in pockets I thought

could weave a crown.

It was that I knew first
having arms of cirrus:

insubstantial and searching
like water feels every

form of inauthenticity
and fills it;

I would bleed when needed
and not wanting to die

have untied each
found fiction to see
its kinked rope.

When once there was
first, forced inattention

like my mother unable to
hug when unwatched

could it be enough
that never like her father
left her broken,

she only left –

and a love that made me
has tried to take me
and save me same

stumbling into what is
familiar, many times

until older, I have felt
long beneath a snow

like a seed dreams of
a tree they will know.





skipping stones

Truth, may be cobbled:
first having been strong
as static clings

like poppy pollen in
the school yard, for-
getting what is known
of threat

in oleander chewed of
my family’s garden,
not knowing this

poisoned flavor - I
gather a pocket of stones

too smooth and flat
like the world has been

and wandering, find still water
chewing on each before tossing

having crumbled sand in the mouth
same I was too long held
in another’s

their singing so hot: I like glass

transparently, still not quite
traceable in bright light

the truth held firmly
too round to skim the water
or stack one on top the other

but gathered like a cairn
where the river turns.