Forced Evolution

The bus is late again
and sleep's been short

a tooth on the tongue
sharpened,

but hi, the weather x,
you say, and yes

to chocolate from
a stranger -

too sweet fluttering
the heart with its

refined sugar,

same how caught
on a train track

it raced and emptied
of self, knowing

how sleep snatches
in the long night

and never wakes,
but arrives

repeatedly into being
like every day since

as if an eddy on a wave
could change course.

So you let the bus
leave, made cold

and troubled

like a cobra poised
above its own center

on thresholds of violence
and mercy, and find instead

the warmth of a sunny rock

to count the petals
on clovers

in the weedy grass

could a crown of stems
beyond the ordinary
be made -

a root of self

tethered to its own
shaping - would this

woken dream, depart.

preservation

In that former innocence
a second sun bloomed
in my heart, and I
tucked dreams
and hopes

within my small fist
a moth within-
I held it
tense,
in careful regard.

Sometimes
I would tear, slightly
a ghostly wing
having
no space
in a hand to
move:

I shook or would
startle.

And so I began
when it was night
and I could hear the
urgency silenced
day-to-day

to still squirrel away
each fold of brain, the
tender stomach
delicate bones of a toe/
all beneath my pillow
where I would remember
whenever
I could rest

and today, there
I hold my hand
in sleep, reaching
feeling
something
alive

in my hands.